The Things No One Tells You When You’re 20 and Counting (and that you need to know, yo)
It’s been a minute!
Everyone tells you that you get a lot busier once you get married, but I really didn’t believe them (and I still don’t entirely believe them because life is always busy, so what’s the difference in time just because you made your over-the-top crush legal?). Here we are, though, three months into being married and busyness is a real thing–but it’s honestly not the only thing.
Truth is, LOTS has happened besides the traditional I-Dos (and maybe I’ll write about it, but what are the chances of that, really?). This is me trying to ground my feet again inside the whirlwind of events called “life” (married or unmarried).
So, I’m trying this new thing. I know I’ve talked about thankfulness, contentment, and perspective before, but like any selfish brat, I tend to forget about it and start living my life like it’s all about me again–which is all fun and invigorating, until your will gets crossed, or you get laid off, or your car gets totaled (are these examples from my life or my imagination? Gosh, sounds like a story, doesn’t it?). So, I’m doing this thing where I learn from my own life and try to actually take lessons from it (I’m old enough to do that now; isn’t that cool?).
Check out a few things I maybe now possibly think…
#1: Show More Grace (and Don’t Take it Personally)
Your friend is being a jerk. You didn’t get an invite to the beach weekend and it looks like a blast in all their social stories. A stranger made you mad. Your coworker sucks, you can’t land the right job, you keep seeing people (and yourself) making the same mistakes over and over and over again. And it makes you (insert typical emotion here).
Okay, so, chill, bruh.
It’s human nature to want to correct things that aren’t exactly right. It’s human nature to be offended when something doesn’t go the way you want it to go. It’s human nature to snap at something that hurt you.
But so, so often these reactions are a waste of time. You’re angry, or sad, or downright livid, and while you have a right to your feelings, acting on them irrationally tends to do more harm than good. You may be surprised at what a deep breath, a clear head, and an unwillingness to take things personally can do for you. Give grace regardless of receiving it, and shake off the bad stuff.
#2: Money Isn’t Worth Much
Ever since you’re a kid you’re supposed to know what you want to do to make money (what do you wanna be when you grow up?). You’re expected to have a plan of the money-making kind, and while it’s realistic to seek out a way to provide for yourself, it’s imbalanced to place all your efforts into making big money as fast as possible.
Here’s my take of it… Experience trumps money. Plentiful memories outweigh massive paychecks. A good, happy life is worth far more than a rich one with fancy materials.
I absolutely believe you should work hard, do well, and constantly seek ways to improve yourself and your life. I think you should make money, spend it wisely, and provide for yourself and your family. But how much more could you accomplish if you realized that beyond the basics, money isn’t all that great? Build memories, and don’t be afraid to use your bank account to do so.
#3 Life Won’t Go Your Way–So Work Hard and Enjoy the Ride
If you’re a control freak about your life, then, of course, you’re going to be heckin’ upset when something happens that you, A) didn’t expect, B) outright didn’t want, or C) wasn’t your first choice. Life happens. Make room for that in your organization. It’s okay if you get lost and end up being thirty minutes late. It’s okay if you have to buy new tires for your car instead of on new clothes. It’s okay if you lose your big-money job and have to “downgrade” until you find something better.
Stop judging your life, and stop judging other people’s lives. Enjoy what you have. It’s a gift.
That’s all, folks. Maybe I’ll write again soon.